


The Correlation Between Oxytocin and Dog Piss

by SteveTrevorsStarship



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: M/M, Marriage Proposal, Prompt Day 10, RoyEd Month 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24111376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteveTrevorsStarship/pseuds/SteveTrevorsStarship
Summary: For Day 10 of RoyEd Month 2020.In which Roy Mustang would be better off just burying Ed here and now because Ed is about to have a heart attack anyway.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 86





	The Correlation Between Oxytocin and Dog Piss

**Author's Note:**

> BDHVDFHVBBFUV the prompt was the song I do adore by Mindy Gledhill and "If I offered you my life would you take it, or spend the rest of it with me." - Kyle Ogden and I JUST TOOK IT AND RAN BAHAHA IM SO SORRY
> 
> I've never done a Tumblr prompt for a week or day or month or really anything before so I'm sorry if this isn't what normal ppl do
> 
> also I cant figure out a way to link my Tumblr on here so find me at thischeesenugget or stevetrevorstardis

_We're as different as can be_

_I've noticed you're remarkably relaxed_

_And I'm overly uptight_

_We balance out each other nicely_

. . .

There are five million ways that this could turn to hell. 

There are a million other reasons it _should_.

But for some reason. _For some fucking reason–_

(His smile. That stupid fucking smile. The way his voice lilts at the end of the word _darling_. The way their banter is always witty, never scathing. The way he smiles at Ed, all charm and silliness and love.) 

For some reason, and a trillion other reasons, Ed fucking loves this stupid little _shit._

Roy Mustang would be the end of him. On one knee, lips tilting upward as Ed stutters, the stupid little– _ugh_ – 

Ed blinks in confusion until he realizes _fuck, I said that out loud._

“Stop calling me little, Edward. It’s hypocritical.” Roy’s smirk is _growing_ and scientists everywhere are baffled. There’s no way his whole ego could fit on only two lips, but Roy is making it work. 

For a moment, Edward _fucking_ Elric _, of all people_ is rendered speechless. He blinks. Opens his mouth. Closes it. Repeats. There’s too much to process. Did Roy just propose to him and then have the audacity to call him short within the span of a minute? _And_ he managed to use a word with more than 4 syllables _?_

The moment ends when a black and white spotted dog, also the sole witness of this lovely proposal, takes it upon himself to sniff at Roy’s foot. 

“I wish I had a god to damn you right now,” Ed says, his cheeks the color of a Resembool sunset (or at least, that’s what Ed’s inner Roy is saying he must look like. Fucking Romantic.) He’s still standing there and staring at the black-haired man like he’s concussed or some shit. He should probably stop. 

“Why don’t you just say ‘damn you’?” Roy asks, his smirk shifting into something softer and more vulnerable. Holy shit. _This is the smile._ All of Ed’s Oxytocin just abandons him. It’s Roy’s now. Is that even possible? _Fuck_. 

“Not enough emphasis. This is an art form and you already suck at it,” Ed quips. And then, for shits and giggles, he adds on an extra, “Fucker.” 

“I’ve heard I’m an excellent one.” 

Shits and giggles, indeed. 

Roy hesitates for a moment and then, like he’s _shy_ or something, he gestures to the little black box in his hands, which are shaking, _holy shit_. “Are you going to accept the proposal or not, darling?” 

Ed’s heart stutters because he can’t believe this wonderful man is his and because it’s good to know Roy’s just as lost in this love as he is. He would articulate those thoughts, but “Are you fucking stupid? Yes. Duh,” comes out before he can think of anything else to say. His grin is cracking to a full-on smile as Roy raises himself from his kneeling position and slides the ring onto Ed’s finger. 

He steps forward, wraps his arms around Ed, and waits for him to reciprocate the octopus-like tangling before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Wonderful, my knees were beginning to hurt,” he whispers against Ed’s mouth. Ed’s not sure why anyone thought Roy was anything other than a gigantic dork because he adds, “And I think the dog peed on my shoe. I’m not sure, really; I wasn’t paying much attention.” 

Ed burrows his face into the crook of Roy’s neck and laughs softly, “You’re an idiot.”

“You’re the one spending the rest of your life with me.” Roy turns his nose into Ed’s hair and Ed can feel his smile. 

“Guess so,” He responds in a quiet whisper. 

. . .

_It brings me to my knees when you say_

_Hello, how are you, my darling today?_

_I fall into a pile on the floor_

_Puppy love is hard to ignore_

_When every little thing you do, I do adore_

**Author's Note:**

> Nobody:  
> Roy: I LOVE YOU BITCH I AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVIN YOU BITCH
> 
> im so sorry I've been waiting to use that vine in a fic for like 3 years
> 
> might post some tomorrow cuz I'm going on an 8 hour road trip. might not because other ppl in my car might look at my screen and id rather just watch outer banks than tell them I'm writing fanfic
> 
> fekin told you I took this prompt and ran


End file.
